Teaching Kids Manners for Holiday Celebrations

Wednesday, 11/18/2009

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Uh-oh, Thanksgiving dinner - family and friends reunited around one table with small children.  The classic solution for children and adults happily co-existing at holiday tables is the kids’ table.  And I highly recommend it.  If, however, the children are sitting at the adult table this year, teaching good manners will help prepare your child to be socially savvy this holiday season.

The Easy Things

• Saturate your children in politeness days before the family gathering. Children love using manners because they love the art of the game. “Please” and “thank you” are power words, paying them off with gloating smiles. Children learn “please” and “thank you” and “please pass the butter” through immersion and repetition.
• Be attentive to pro-social behavior. Explicitly teach children how to act around other people. For example: make eye contact when listening, use quiet voices inside, say “excuse me” if you want attention, and it’s okay to say “no, thank you”. These are all easy behaviors to teach but remember these are skills that are learned through gentle guidance not automatically.
• Clarify your expectations. Family gatherings and holiday events also provide opportunities for children to do things differently than the typical day-to-day. Children may not understand that some older people need assistance. Let them know their great grandmother would love it if they would hold her hand and walk with her to the dining room. Kindness is learned by remembering another person’s point of view.
• Be explicit. New situations come with new rules. You may need to say, “I don’t want you to chase the dog through the house while the guests are here”. Or, “today, I want you to wait to start eating until I give you our secret signal”. And pppplease, no burping contests at the table!”

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Posted by » KarenDeerwester
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